Is it better to live with my parents so my kids can have the advantages of stability and more time with me?
I have been living with my parents for the last four years. This enables me to afford karate, Ballet and music lessons for my kids. It also allows me to spend more time with them than if I had to work and pay rent. I pay for all their clothes, food, lessons, etc. Their dad lives across the country and sporadically pays child support. I am going nuts though, living with my parents is squashing any sense of self worht that I used to have. I feel sellfish to think of moving out, but when I think of staying here much longer I think I may lose it. I was wondering if anyone else out there is in a similar situation, or just has an opinion of what I should do.
I’m not against family living together as long as it’s healthy and fair. I don’t think it’s all that fair for your parents to have you and your children living under their roof without you paying. Sure you buy the food, clothes and other such things but what about the heating, electric, water, and trash removal bill, all of which would be cheaper if it was just the two of them.
Also, do your parents let you stay there because they actually want you to live there or are they just trying to help you get back up on your feet, which you clearly haven’t done? If so, then it’s not good to stay there because you are now an unwanted house guest, which causes tension for everyone.
Not only this but living in your parent’s home means that you pretty much have to do things their way. If you want to have people over I would imagine that you would need permission and really who wants to be asking their parents if they can do something when they are an adult. You also mentioned that it’s squashing your self worth, which isn’t good for your children to have to see…….they learn from you, remember that.
I suggest you get a job, move into your own apartment and have your children choose one activity that they love the most. It’s more important that they see their mom feeling confident and independent than a couple of karate, ballet or music lessons.
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